Jodi

Today I am praying for Jodi. I used to work with her at the salon years ago. She was the first person that I remember that dealt with infertility. Not only did she struggle to get pregnant, she also experienced numerous miscarriages. I am happy to say that she did get her happy ending and had a son a few years ago ~I am a little iffy on the details because it has been a while. I thought Jodi was the perfect person to start praying for this week of infertility awareness. I am sorry to say that because I didn't know, I said all the wrong things to her. I just didn't know any better and I thought I was helping. Until I heard them myself, I had no idea how hurtful they were. In an effort to help others who just don't know what to say, here is my advice for the day, courtesy of the RESOLVE website.

Don't Tell Them to Relax
Everyone knows someone who had trouble conceiving but then finally became pregnant once she "relaxed." Couples who are able to conceive after a few months of "relaxing" are not infertile. By definition, a couple is not diagnosed as "infertile" until they have tried unsuccessfully to become pregnant for a full year. In fact, most infertility specialists will not treat a couple for infertility until they have tried to become pregnant for a year. This year weeds out the people who aren't infertile but just need to "relax." Those that remain are truly infertile.
Comments such as "just relax" or "try going on a cruise" create even more stress for the infertile couple, particularly the woman. The woman feels like she is doing something wrong when, in fact, there is a good chance that there is a physical problem preventing her from becoming pregnant.
These comments can also reach the point of absurdity. As a couple, my husband and I underwent two surgeries, numerous inseminations, hormone treatments, and four years of poking and prodding by doctors. Yet, people still continued to say things like, "If you just relaxed on a cruise . . ." Infertility is a diagnosable medical problem that must be treated by a doctor, and even with treatment, many couples will NEVER successfully conceive a child. Relaxation itself does not cure medical infertility.