another update

*Update to the update*  It appears that Ashton has a virus that is totally unrelated to the tube surgery. Our dr seemed a little annoyed that the on call dr had even mentioned pneumonia since it was so unlikely.  He did a strep test on him since he had a lot of white spots on his throat.  That was negative, so now we just have to wait out.  Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers!



Ashton developed a fever overnight.  It went from 101 to 102.6 while he was on Tylenol.  The on call dr said it could be due to the anesthesia but it could also be a sign of pneumonia which can occur after surgery.  Not exactly what this momma wanted to hear!  Needless to say, the only person that got sleep last night was Grant.  I have an appt to take him in to see his regular pediatrician at 11:15.  He is concerned about possible infection in his lungs or ears.  He is not coughing at all so I have a hard time thinking it is pneumonia, but you never know.  Please say a prayer if you wouldn't mind.  I really don't want to end up back at the hospital.

Tube update

Ashton went in for surgery at 7:30 and was back in our arms by 8:00.  He was on his best behavior considering he hadn't eaten anything- he was smiling and flirting with all the nurses.  Surgery went well.  The ENT said that he had a significant amount of mucus in both ears.    He was a little cranky after surgery, but for the most part was back to his normal self within an hour.  Thank you so much for all your thoughts and prayers.

I won't get my usual Ten on Tuesday post up this week.  Life is busy.  Our laptop is still in the shop and the computer we are using as our backup will not hook up to our wireless. It is nearly impossible to get online for extended amounts of time unless I leave my children unsupervised.  Considering the last time I left them in the living room so I could take a quick shower, Grant unlocked the front door and I found Ashton trying to crawl down the cement steps, I choose to not leave the room without them these days!

The new laptop is on order so hopefully this week I will post our pics from our family beach day aka the day that Ashton tried to eat the entire beach. 

I wanted to jump on here quickly though and let you know that Ashton is scheduled for his tubes on Thursday morning.  He will go in for surgery at 7:30.  Prayers are appreciated.  I know this is a routine 15 minute surgery, but anytime I have to take my babies to the hospital, I freak out.  Pray that this helps alleviate the pain that he is experiencing and that we can all get back to a normal sleeping schedule!

8 months (and a few days)

Ashton Nowell- I feel like the last few months of your life have been crazy.  Moving has thrown me all out of whack and I feel like I missed out on precious time with you.  I feel like you have grown up so much over the last couple months.  You have definitely gone from being my cuddly little baby to an independent little guy who knows what he wants and will not wait for you to get it.  This is what you have been up to the last month...


*you are crawling all over the place and are even pulling yourself up onto everything you can.

*you wear size 9 month Carters, still a few 6-9 month outfits as well, size 3 diapers

*you eat five 5 oz bottles a day, 2 fruits, a veggie, a yogurt and 2 servings of cereal.  We started you on meats a couple weeks ago and also on puffs.  You definitely love to eat.  You stuff the puffs into your mouth like you can't get enough!

* you grab the bottle out of our hands with a lot of intensity and feed yourself.  I do not like this independence!

*you are all out of whack with sleeping.  We believe it is due to the fluid on your ears and are anxious for your tube surgery on Thursday.  We hope that will solve the problem so that we can all start sleeping again!

*you love to be outside and splish splash in the pool.  You went on your first swing this past week and loved it! You also enjoy hanging out with your big bro- even though he still tries to sit on you!

*despite your ear issues, you are still a very happy baby.  You love to smile and flirt with the ladies.  All it takes is a smile and a flash of those blue eyes and they are hooked!

*you are like a human vacuum.  If there is anything to be found on the floor, you will find it and put it in your mouth instantly.  I am really ready for this stage to be over because it is impossible to keep the floors spotless with your brother around!

*you babble a little, but not what I think you should be doing for your age.  The ENT thinks it has to do with all the ear issues (we have definitely put a lot of pressure on your tube surgery!). 

This has been such a fun month for you. I love to watch you in this discovery stage that you are in.  It reminds me to take a step back and remember how awesome the simple things in life can be.

Ten on Wednesday

1.  Never leave your computer on the couch.  I learned this lesson the hard way.  Shopping for a new laptop this week.  Hence the Tuesday post on Wednesday!

2.  Something you never want to realize in the middle of a 93 degree day:  you forgot to put on deodorant....  learned that the hard way as well!

3.  Grant did amazing at swim lessons last week.  Even though he was spitting on the poor girl sitting next to him during the last class, I do feel as if he learned a few things.  He went in without a life jacket and he even went all the way under.

4.  Ashton had his final ear check on Friday and we were given a referral to an ENT for tubes.  I suspected that would happen since he was having a really rough week and had been pulling on his ears a lot.  I am hoping that this will help take away some of his pain.

5.  First thing marked off my summer to do list- pick strawberries and make jam.  I have attempted to make jam before, but it has never turned out.  It never gels up and I end up tossing it in the trash.  I was determined to get it right this time because I am hooked on homemade jam.  Thankfully, it worked and I now have 3 jars of jam made in the freezer along with 4 cups of strawberries pureed and waiting to be made into jam when I can find time to get to the store and buy more sure jell.

6. We are almost done unpacking.  It has been a mess in our house this week as I sorted through the boys clothes and Jason finished up a few construction items.  This crazy heat is keeping us inside though so I hope to have the last few boxes unpacked tomorrow.  I will post pictures soon.

7.  The dynamics of our house are very interesting to me....we have the worlds smallest bathroom but it has the largest air vent in the whole house.  Stepping into the bathroom while the air is on is like standing in gale force winds.  Grant screams,"it's too cold in here" when I take him in there to go potty and the air is on.  It definitely provides for quick potty breaks and really quick tubs and showers!

8.  Thank you to everyone for sending prayers after my last post.  Every once in a while, I just have a down day and I am so thankful for my faithful bloggers that help me through it!

9.  Grantism of the week:  He sat down with his friend Lo while she ate her snack after time.  He had already eaten, so he was just sitting with her and just like an adult, he folded his hands together and said, "so, what do you want to talk about while you eat?" They then proceeded to talk about a trip to the zoo that they had just taken where they saw kangaroos and giraffes.  Funny, since Grant has never been to a zoo!  Those two and their conversations just crack me up.  Something that doesn't crack me up is Lo telling me that I had red eyes.  I ran to the bathroom convinced I had pink eye and she said,"no Krista, under your eyes..."  It is lovely when a 3 year old points out the large bags under your eyes!!!

10.  Blessing of the week: my dad, my step dad and my father in law - all amazing fathers who have provided so much for myself and my family over the years.

Today has been a rough day for me.  I think the emotions of the last few months have finally caught up with me.  I am tired.  I am sad.  I am weak. The wall that I built up to deal with all this change is crumbling quickly... 

As I sat in church this morning and prayed for all the fathers, I felt happy, sad, anger, frustration, gratitude, pretty much every emotion you could imagine.....  In front of me was a family that we got to know when we had the girls.  They came to the hospital when Alexcyn was born.  20+ years ago, their daughter was born premature.  She survived, but has had several health issues and will most likely never be able to function without someone by her side.  I thought about their situation.  I thought about our situation.  What would have happened if our baby girls lived?  Would they be ok?  What would the future have held for them?  Would Jason ever be able to put a corsage on their wrist and take them to a daddy and daughter dance?  Would he ever get to walk them down the aisle at their wedding someday?  It breaks my heart to think that he will never get to proudly show off his little girls. Those opportunities were ripped right out of his hands and it makes me so sad.

Yes, I realize that we have two amazing boys and I am so blessed.  I am overwhelmed with love and gratitude as I watch Jason teach Grant to golf and play trains with him for the 20th time.  I love to see him hold Ashton in his arms and rock him to sleep.  I just wish that all of our babies could be here.  That I could have put Brooke and Alexcyn's footprints on the poem we made Jason this year.  That the girls could have picked flowers for their daddy instead of us going to water the flowers by their grave on Father's Day.

Sometimes I just want to yell out like a pouty little child, "it is not fair."

I want them here. 

I miss them like crazy. 

Happy Fathers Day to all those who long to be fathers.  To all those who are fathers to angels in heaven.  To those who are fathers to living children. May your day be blessed.

Ten on Tuesday

1.  We moved this weekend.  It was slightly less than desirable.  It was 90 degrees.  The toilets and sinks were hooked up that morning.  The kitchen sink started flooding in the afternoon.  The plumber came over and discovered the dishwasher was leaking.  No dishwasher for the weekend.  Not a problem.  In the evening, we went into the basement and discovered a pipe was leaking in the room with all of our boxes.  It was not a nice slow leak, it was a turn the water off and call the plumber leak.  So, we spent our first night at home with no water.  Actually, our first two nights.  Running downstairs and turning the water on so I can wash dishes, go potty, etc.. and then running down to turn it off has become quite the annoyance! 

2.  We still have boxes everywhere.  Luckily the Salvation Army is coming around the neighborhood on Wed to pick up donations.  I caught myself in a get rid of things mood yesterday so I already have a huge box of stuff set out for them.  This is a huge step for me and my hoarding issues!

3.  Grant started swimming lessons yesterday.  I was a little nervous because he was in a class with a few older kids, but it sounded like he did ok.  She said he wouldn't do anything but once he finally got in the water, he was smiling and happy.  Here's hoping for a much better swimming lesson week than we had last year!

4.  Ever since being pregnant, I can not handle the heat.  I used to be able to sit out in the hot sun all day without a problem.  Now, I can barely walk around the block in 75 degree weather without having sweat dripping down my face.  Has anyone else experienced this after being pregnant?

5.  Grant loves his big boy bed.  So much that he peed in it the last two nights.  Proves to be a slight problem when you have no water....

6. Grant's new thing is to call me honey.  The other day he looked and me and said, "come here honey."  I made him repeat it just to be sure that is what he said.  Sure enough.  It is just hilarious to hear your 2 1/2 year old call you honey!

7.  Ashton thinks he is a big boy now and has started pulling himself up on things.  Seriously, why can't he just slow down already.


8.  And just where do you think you are going Ashton? 

Time to invest in some baby gates!

9. Anyone have a good idea for making curtains?  We "invested" in the cheap vinyl blinds so that we didn't have to wake up with the sun anymore. But, I would also like to try to make the house a little more cozy feeling  hide the cheap blinds, but at little price since we will only be here a year. 



10.  Blessing of the week: water!  The minute we had it all hooked up last night I had the washing machine going, the dishwasher going, the toilet flushing. the sprinkling watering.  It was an enlightening experience for me to realize just how many times I turn the sink on during the day.  Not sure how anyone can live without it!

Nine Days in Heaven

A couple excerpts from the book, Nine Days in Heaven by Dennis and Nolene Prince.  I read these over and over and felt a peace surround me each time I read these words. 



"As I watched them come and go, an angel passed close by, holding in her arms a baby spirit.  The baby lay nestled in calm security, obviously well aware of its safety in the arms of its protector."  "I recieved it from its mother," the angel replied.  "She was brokenhearted.  I am taking it to the infants' heaven in the Paradise of Peace."



"Marietta, we are really happy to be able to talk to you because you will eventually go back to those who loved us and mourned when we died.  When you see them again, would you please give a message to the man who is now sitting beside your body on earth?"  Tell him that although our parents may grieve for us, we are free and extremely happy.  Tell them that this is the only world we know.  It was here that we first awoke to the reality of our existence.  Our guardian angels take us to visit earth, but it is not at all like heaven.  We see sorrow, pain and death there.  Here in heaven there is harmony, happiness and life."


I am only halfway through this book, but so far I am very comforted by the words it contains about the day I will once again see my baby girls again.

Ten on Tuesday

1.  Is it really Tuesday again?  These weeks are flying by. 

2.  The other day Grant was talking with grandma about planting pumpkins.  The next thing I knew, he was in her cupboard looking for something.  He came out with a can of pumpkin and asked me to make some pumpkin bars!  I am so glad that he shares my love of everything pumpkin.

3.  Sometimes when I am at the cemetery it occurs to me that I am only 35 and I already have my burial plot.  I am so thankful that we were able to get a group of them together when the girls passed.  However, when I think of a normal 35 year old, I can't imagine many of them have already figured out where they will be buried.

4.  Another note on the cemetery.... when I get water for the girls flowers, I pass by many baby graves.  I am always amazed by two of them right next to each other.  The babies passed away the same day they were born in 1965.  The minute we can put our planters out in the cemetery, they have beautiful flower pots on  their graves.  It shows that a mother never forgets...

5.  A good friend from our life group purchased the book, Nine Days in Heaven for me.  She said that she read it and thought of me the whole time.  I have made several attempts to read it, but it seems I am always interrupted and never get a chance to get back to it.  I hope to get some alone time soon because I am very antsy to read it.

 6.  This kid scares the heck out of me!  He has absolutely no fear.

7.  We are planning on moving into the "new" house this Saturday.  I have been busy emptying boxes when I get some free time.  And, I have been very busy finding fun decorations for Grant's new transportation themed room.  I have already started his "masterpiece" wall hanging and can't wait to show it to you once it is completed.  I have a few other fun ideas, but again, time is always the issue these days. I am attempting to make his room as fun as possible before we move in so that he is excited about it.  While living here, he has had to sleep in a room with us and I am a little concerned about the separation issues we might have when we move.  I figure if I give him a really cool room, he won't want to be in our room.... that is the hope anyway!

 8.  In an effort to find my ringing phone the other day, I had to dig through 10 coupons that I printed last week and forgot to use, a full size bottle of sunscreen, a tube of Cortaid, a package of baby wipes, an overflowing wallet with receipts and Similac coupons falling out of it, an extremely large lollipop that my co-worker bought for Grant :(, sunglasses, a checkbook, a bottle of water, a random piece of wood from when we moved our tv stand, a pacifier and a container with "potty" jelly beans.  Needless to say, my phone stopped ringing before I found it at the bottom of my purse. 
Anyone else have a purse that contains this many random treasures???

9. I forgot to mention last week that I took Ashton back for his ear re-check.  His infection was gone, but he still had fluid on one ear.  We have to go back in 3 weeks AGAIN.  If there is still fluid on that ear, he will have tubes put in.  In the meantime, we must put ear wax drops in both ears every day because A is a seriously waxy kid.  Every time we go in, he has to get his ears irrigated out- it is a very unpleasant experience for both of us so we are hoping these drops help.

10.  Blessing of the week...quality time with Jason. We are taking full advantage of having live in babysitters right now and going for walks/runs once the boys are in bed.  It keeps me up later than I like, but it is nice to have some quiet time with J to catch up and reflect.  I was in desperate need of this time after our crazy busy spring.