Ten on tuesday

1.  Lately Grant has been addicted to the nursery rhyme Where is Thumbkin.  The other day in the car he started singing, "Where is naked? Where is naked?  Here I am, here I am" Can't wait for him to belt that one out in church someday!

2.  If you want to make people shudder, tell them that you sliced a chunk out of your thumb with a mandolin....  Yup, did that last Wed and since then I have realized that I definitely took my thumb for granted!

3.  I have been loving this cooler weather that is forcing us to stay inside and slow down a bit.  I feel like for the first time since we have moved here I am actually getting things done.

4.  The other day we stopped at the cemetery to water the mums.  As I pulled in Grant asked if we were going to visit the girls.  I said yes and then he said, "can I get out and say hi?"  Warmed my heart to hear him say that.

5. I have had a lot of emotions this week for all the things I am missing out on with the girls.  Not sure if it is planning Grant and Ashton's birthday parties and knowing I will never get that princess party I dreamed about when pregnant with the girls or receiving the American Girl doll magazine in the mail and knowing that I will never get a chance to spoil them rotten with dolls and dresses and trips to the AG store.  Sometimes the reality of what I am missing out on just hurts.

6.  Feeling inspired by this random acts of kindness post of a friend of mine.  Not sure I can come up with 35 acts or if I want to wait until February, but I do think it is a wonderful idea and a great example to teach the boys.  Stay tuned to see what I come up with!

7. My favorite quote of the week .... "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel"  This is so true!

8.  CASTLE is back!  I couldn't be happier.

9.  Grant can't stop singing On the Pontoon.  It is hilarious how excited he gets when it comes on the radio.  This kid really cracks me up.

10.  Blessing of the week:  Couch time.  Our parenting class homework is to spend 15 minutes in couch time.  That is time away from the kids where we reconnect and show the kids that our primary concern is our marriage relationship.  Although Jason rolled his eyes at the thought, I was thrilled!  Seems like our only alone time is spent after 9 when the kids are asleep and we are both exhausted and watching tv or sitting with the computer.

11 Months

Ashton Nowell- In less than a month you will be ONE!  I think back to a year ago and am full of so much anxiety and excitement.  I couldn't wait to meet you and now I just want the days to go slower so that I can enjoy this precious time with you as my baby.


This is what you have been up to this month...

*you are wearing size 3 diapers although I think this is the last box of those.  Size 9 month clothes.  Not sure of height and weight because we haven't been to the dr lately.

*you are a dare devil!  You climb up slides (no matter how tall) and go down them head first.  You head for the stairs the minute I turn around and have just recently discovered how to get down them.

*you are developing such a carefree personality.  You smile all the time and just seem happy and content with life.

*you took your first steps this past month and are now primarily walking.

*you love to be in the middle of everything and love to play with your big brother.  We are still working on getting him to be nice to you :(

*you love to dance when you hear music and climb everything you can.

*you can not sit still.  Getting you dressed and changed is a total challenge.  

*you babble a lot and the other day you said bottle but I wasn't there so I don't know if it counts as your first word.  You won't say it again.

*you have 4 teeth.  You eat mainly table foods now.  I try to get cereal down you but it is a challenge. You want to be independent and feed yourself so you tend to grab the spoon and put it in your mouth.

You are so much fun to be around.  I am excited to be planning your Teddy Bear Picnic birthday party but am sad that my little love is no longer going to be my baby!

Ten on Tuesday

1.  Funniest subject line in my spam email box this week:  I may be heavy, but at least I am horny. 

2. On Friday, I held my babies close as I heard the news of a woman that passed away from breast cancer.  I had only met her a couple times but I was still impacted by her story as I think anyone would be. She was my age, owned a local baby boutique and was pregnant and due with twins the same time we were.  They closed the store when she became ill and I kept track of her ups and downs through her blog.  I am just broken hearted for all that her family is going through right now and all that they will go through in the future without their wife and momma.  I really hate cancer.

3. Grant has decided that he only wants to go potty standing up now.  Time to invest in bulk packages of Clorox wipes!

4.   When we were pregnant with the girls, our home computer had crashed and I was using my work computer to store some pictures.  Last week I put together a slideshow for work for our Ten Year Anniversary and came across this picture.  My good friend B made this cake for us to tell our Life Group that we were expecting twins. Amazing how a picture of a cake can bring back so many emotions.

 
5.  I am in total denial that October is coming and I will have a 3 year old and a 1 year old.  This year went by in the blink of an eye.

6.  As requested, my life list.  Some things are easily attainable, some things require more time and money than our life allows right now!  Hopefully someday I can make at least some of these dreams come true.

1.        Sing in choir at church

2.      Write a book

3.      Swim with dolphins

4.     Eat pastries at a roadside café in Paris

5.      Live on a boat

6.      Build my dream house

7.     Cook Julia Childs Beef Bourgenion

8.      Travel to Italy

9.      Take a photography class

10.   Learn to sew

11.   Spend a week at a house on the beach in the Outer Banks

12.  Driving tour of the East Coast in fall

13.  Eat at Mystic Pizza

14.  Take the boys to my favorite city- San Francisco

15.  See the Grand Canyon

16.  Take the boys to my favorite beach- Hanalei Bay

17.  Learn to run

18.   Go camping

19.   spend a week at Torch Lake – just me and my boys (Jason included as a boy)

20.  ride an elephant

21.  see Lion King the musical

22. have a whole yard full of daisies

23. can fruit and veggies from my garden pickles, strawberry jam, peaches, applesauce, tomatoes, etc.

24. spend a night in a museum

25. go on a mission trip

26. have an outdoor shower just like the ones in Hawaii

27. buy an expensive pair of jeans that everyone says are the best jeans ever- and not feel guilty about it!

28.  Make spring rolls

29.  Own a kitchen aid mixer

30.  Build a tree house for the boys

31.  Pick blueberries

32. Have a pumpkin patch

33. Fast for 24 hours in honor of someone in need

34. Wear an amazing hat to the Kentucky Derby

35. Watch the Masters in Augusta

7.  In the middle of the day today Grant told me had to brush his teeth.  He went in the bathroom and brushed and then came out and said,"now I can have more sugar mommy." 

8.  Why don't my kids sleep???? I.am.so.tired.

9. I really miss Good Afternoon America.  Anyone else?

10. Blessing of the week:  catching up with college sorority sisters at a wedding this past weekend.  There is something special about college friends because you are all living within feet of each other and your only responsibility is to study so you can devote the rest of your time and energy to friends.   I have to admit that I really miss that feeling.  Don't get me wrong, I have wonderful friends. But they all have their own families that keep them busy.   And, most of them grew up here so in their spare time they have childhood friends and family that keep them even busier.  With Jason being gone a lot in the evenings and weekends, it would be really nice to have those college days back when I could simply walk next door in my pajamas for a little girl time! 

zoo

We had an awesome day at the zoo!  I am so glad that we waited to go until after school started.  We lucked out and had an absolutely beautiful day and I am pretty sure we were one of about 50 people at the zoo that day.  The only place that we actually saw more than 5 people was at the giraffe feeding station.

We drove an hour and a half to this specific zoo just so we could feed the giraffes.  Grant has been watching Madagascar lately and has been asking all about giraffes so I knew it would be worth the trip.  He loved it and I am pretty sure we purchased a head of lettuce to feed to them! 

We rode the carousel.

We rode the train.

In the petting zoo area, Ashton starting screaming and we assumed he was scared of the goats.  Then we looked down and realized that the goat had bitten his finger!  The conversation with the nurse at the drs office the next day was pretty funny.  She had to call us back because she had never been asked what to do when your child had been bitten by a goat and his finger was all red and swollen!  Luckily, she called back with the good news that goats mouths are relatively clean and we should watch it for a few days before putting him on meds.  I have decided that Ashton is just going to be that kid that something is always happening to....

Checking out the new bear cubs...

Taking a ride on the turtle...

Hanging out with the monkeys....

Both boys passed out for a nice quiet ride home.  Unfortunately, we discovered that after a long day at the zoo, we wanted to pass out too! 

Ten on Tuesday

1.  Something I never had to say to Grant, but I say ten thousand times a day to Ashton,"get your hands out of the toilet!"  yuck.....

2.  This kid is trouble!  He has no fear and never stops moving.  Ever.

3.  I had been warned that the two's didn't even compare to the three's..... I am experiencing that right now.  Grant and his whining and fit throwing had me in tears this weekend.

4.  Due to the frustration from #3, Jason and I have signed up for an 18 week course called Growing Kids Gods Way.  We hope it will help us handle these challenging years together while also keeping our minds and hearts on God.

5.  I finally got the chance to sing in the choir at church this past weekend.  It was our 100 year anniversary so we sang awesome celebration songs.  I had a cd at home to practice with and by the end of the week Grant was singing,"glory, glory, glory" with me- it was really cute.  Check that off my bucket list!

6.  Pinterest project completed!  We started this at our old house and then decided to wait to spray it with paint when it was warmer.  Then we sold our house and moved and started an insanely hot summer so the toy box just got its final coat of paint this past week.  I am so thankful my hubby is handy and can build all these fun projects I find on pinterest!

7.  Speaking of pinterest.....if you like almond, you NEED to try this cake.  Don't look at the ingredients too long because you might not make it when you see how much butter and sugar it requires (btw- I cut it down and it was fine).  It was so moist and delicious and perfect for a pot luck.

Source: sweetandsavorybysarah.blogspot.com via Krista on Pinterest

8. Ashton started walking this week.  Unfortunately, he still finds it necessary to crawl on the ground outside so he can get his hands on all the treasures such as cigarette buts and wood chips at the park.  Ugh....

9.  While enjoying a "fire camp" (grant's words) this weekend, Grant waited for a quiet moment and suddenly belted out,"life's a bitch."  We looked at him, quickly covered our mouths/turned around and cracked up.  Not the correct response, but we just couldn't help it!  He claims daddy said it first.  Time to wash daddy's mouth out with soap!

10.  Blessing of the week:   A fun family day on a Monday!  J had some time off coming to him and I didn't have to babysit so off to the zoo we went.  It was an awesome day. Grant was wired all night and would not go to sleep so I took him into bed with me as a last ditch effort because I was exhausted and desperately wanted sleep myself.  He was the biggest chatterbox.  He kept using "quite" in front of everything he said.  Ex:  "you are quite larger than me mommy."  I wasn't a fan of that one.  He started going through the alphabet and what his name starts with, blah, blah, blah.  By the time J got home we were still lying in bed talking so we hid under the covers and surprised him.  It seems like just a typical night to most, but it was a memory that I will never forget.  These are the times that I longed for.  The times that I will cherish forever.

end of summer

It seems like now that summer is ending, we are finally getting out and enjoying it  The hot weather just really prevented us from getting out much this summer so I am glad that the heat has cooled a bit so we could get a few more items marked off our summer to do list.

Our downtown has this awesome splash pad for kids.  I took the boys by myself one time and then we met up with some friends the next week.  Both the boys just loved it!

A few Friday's ago, we ventured to the next town over for their downtown family day.  We brought a picnic lunch and then enjoyed a Kindermusik class, a bouncy house, and some fun sprinklers.

We also ended our summer Kindermusik classes in August.  We just love Miss Darcy and have so much fun dancing and singing our way through summer with her!

We said goodbye to summer with the annual truck parade downtown.  The boys both enjoyed it, but Grant would have enjoyed it a lot more if they didn't honk their horns every 2 seconds!

Even though the weather is still warm, I am thinking fall.  I crave pumpkins, cider donuts, colorful leaves, crisp air and jeans and sweatshirts,  We are starting out our fall activities with a visit to the zoo on Monday so stay tuned for pics of Grant feeding the giraffes!

not tuesday...

I woke up this morning in total denial that it was Tuesday. We had an amazing weekend celebrating J's birthday, going to the beach and enjoying our new family boat.  It was so good that I really didn't want it to end! Since my mind is still on holiday, I do not have a Ten on Tuesday post prepared. Instead I am sharing this post from a blog last week.  It was all over FB last week and I loved it and thought it would be fun to share with you.  Many times over the last few weeks I have gone to bed and wondered what good I did that day.  The days seem to fly by so fast.  At night as I am dragging myself to bed looking at the pile of laundry that is still waiting to be folded and the toys scattered all over the floor, I wonder why I spent so much time worrying about stupid details of a birthday party or trying to clip the good coupons before they disappear.  My new mission is to  focus on letting go of being a perfect mom on the outside of my house and being a great mom on the inside of my house.

dear sweet mom who feels like she is failing.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

You're not.

If you and I were sitting in Starbucks and you had your fave drink and I had my Carmel Macchiato I'd look at you, and I'd tell you the truth - you're not failing.

I know. I'm guessing, you'd wipe away the tears, and look up, and try to nod your head, but inside, inside well, you'd think that those are nice words but seriously she has no idea. You know why I know? Because I've sat in a coffee shop, across from a friend, a friend who looked me smack in the face and told me that I wasn't failing and that I was doing a great job.

I wanted to tell her about the dishes from yesterday sitting on my counter. And how the pile of storybooks wasn't read again. And that I'm a week behind in laundry. And that I got really really irritated at the mixture of 13 toys all dumped in a pile that two days ago was sorted into 13 labeled boxes. I wondered if she knew that some days, some days I get up and just go through the mom motions without even really finding much joy. It felt like drudgery.

How could she tell me I wasn't failing?

Yet, I wasn't. 

Somehow in the mixed up media world we've got these thoughts of moms being perfect. Society doesn't give us a break. I mean read this article in the New York Times about the pressure on moms to look a certain way after they give birth. And then? Then we're to be ultra creative, crafty, humorous, happy, chipper, up before dawn, to sleep after dark, with our sinks shined, and the laundry folded, and tomorrow's breakfast in the crockpot, with tomorrow's dinner - pulled from our once-a-month cooking thawing in the fridge, while we work out for 20 minutes on odd days and 40 minutes on even days, and our hair is always done, we're makeup ready, our fridges are stocked, and the craft closet bursting with ideas for that quick perfect afternoon art project that we'll place on our recycled wood and mod podged adorned hand painted chalkboard.

And, in reality, it's 8am and we're just getting up. The baby was up all night, or the toddler sick, or honestly, we were just tired. We get our coffee and flip on facebook and our stream is flooded with stuff people have already done {I always tell myself -- different time zones} and we're racing to catch up with this never before except for the last hundred years perfect never feel like you're failing mom ideal that is exhausting.

You know what my friend told me? She told me to slow down. Slow down? How in the world when I felt like I was failing was I to slow down? I had way way way too much to do and I needed to read that parenting book to work on my attitude and and and...and. And she told me enough. And that I was a good mom. 

You know, you're not failing.

You need to start to see all you do accomplish in a day. All the smiles of encouragement, meals made, clothes changed, books read, and more. Just like I wrote yesterday - we make mistakes {ten things moms need to remember} - we just need to learn from them. We're out of breath, racing, and exhausted, but truly not failing. Failing means stopping. Not getting up, not trying, not giving. That's not you.

I want you to stop telling yourself you're failing. Instead I want you to replace it with I can do this. 

You can do this.

Those soundtrack words and feeling about failing are just feelings. Don't let them define you anymore. If you hear I'm failing replace it immediately with I can do this. 

If you were across the table from me that is what I would tell you.

And, of course, I'd tell you  do one thing. I'm going to write and say it again and again and again. Write your list of things you want to do, need to do, and would love to do today with your family. And then, do one thing from each list. If you stumble, brush yourself off, and start again. Don't worry that the neighbor across the street seems to be doing twenty or the pinterest pin tells you that the perfect home can be achieved in 6 Easy Steps. This is your life - and you - you are the perfect mother for those children. God knew when he blessed those kids to you. 

Remember that.

You are a good mom. You matter. You are making a difference.

You can do this. One step, one day, at a time.

From me, one mom in the midst of motherhood, to you