A year later I am no longer innocent, naive or ignorant. I no longer take things for granted. I no longer think that just because you are pregnant and past your first trimester that you are safe. I have learned the difficult lesson that just because you say your prayers at night, that does not guarantee a life without heartache.
I now have a tiny hole in my heart where a year ago it was full of so much love and hope. I look back on the last year and all that has happened since that day in July when my water broke and our lives took a path that neither of us ever imagined. I say it over and over again, but I just can't believe it has been a year. There were times of extreme love, heartache, despair, fear, etc... but we are happy to say that we have survived. The first year is always the hardest due to all the firsts that you have to go through. We are hopeful that once Tuesday passes we will be able to take a deep breath and praise God for helping us survive that first year! We also want to thank all of you out there that are always covering us with prayer, support and encouragement. We couldn't have made it without you!
This Saturday, J and I will be honoring the girls 1st birthday by releasing a dozen butterflies at their grave site. I am thrilled that I have found a beautiful way to honor their beautiful lives. We will also be remembering that we said goodbye to our sweet Brooke on this day. And then, on July 21 it will have been a year since we said goodbye to our precious Alexcyn. These will be difficult days for us and for our families and friends as the memories come rushing back. Please continue to surround us with prayers of peace during the next few days as we remember.
You, the God of all grace, who called me to Your eternal glory in Christ, after I have suffered a little while will Yourself restore me and make me strong, firm and steadfast 1 Peter 5:10
Praying for you and Jason through these next few hard days - I can't believe it has been a year.. your baby girls are so precious and will always be remembered and loved so much!
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like an absolutely beautiful way to honor your babies. I'll be holding you both in my heart and in my prayers in the coming days. ((Hugs)) sweet girl. You and your babies are much loved.
ReplyDeletePraying for you guys during these next few days. May God give you peace.
ReplyDeleteI will keep you and your family in my prayers. It must be so difficult to be at this point. I am glad to hear that you survived it, it gives me hope that I will too.
ReplyDeletexx,
Tina
Praying for you on this difficult day, Krista....
ReplyDeleteCourtney
I love the butterfly idea. I completely relate to the feelings that you will never be innocent again. It was torn away. I hope you do get some peace as you enter the second year and have finished all the "firsts" without your girls. I'm thinking about you and your precious babies.
ReplyDelete