Rainbows

Babies born to families after the loss of a child are referred to as "Rainbow Babies." The idea is that the baby is like a rainbow after a storm. "Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope.

Five ways you can tell that I am a mother of a rainbow baby

1- When Grant cries, it makes me smile.

2- This one may sound funny to regular mommas, but to those baby loss mommas- I think you will understand. I am finally shopping at Target again! It used to be that I wouldn't step foot in that place because it is a serious magnet for pregnant women and babies. If I dared to go, I would typically run through the store with my head down and then walk out of there in tears anyways. I now proudly shop there for hours on end with my head up and walk out of there without any tears!

3- Until Grant was born, it had been almost a year and a half since I had a genuine smile on my face. Everyone can now tell just how happy I am because I have developed mouth wrinkles! I think it is because I haven't stopped smiling since 8:50 on October 1, 2009!!!

4-Even when I am without baby G, I carry my diaper bag as a purse just because I finally have a reason to carry a diaper bag and I want the world to know!

5-And finally, when Grant looks up at the ceiling and smiles, I don't assume he is looking at the lights or the ceiling fan.... I know that he is looking up at the two beautiful angels that surround our family and giving them a giant smile of thanks for protecting him.

If you are a mother of a rainbow baby and you have anything you would like to add, please leave me a comment. I would love to hear what you do that makes you stand out!

2 months!

Can you believe that I turned 2 months old yesterday? My mom and dad are so amazed that time is going by so quickly. I have grown to be a pretty handsome man if I say so myself!

(I didn't feel like smiling for my picture!)

This is what I am up to lately...

* I love to eat! I am downing 4 ounces every 2 -3 hours during the day.

* My love of food was shown today at my 2 month appt- I now weigh 11 lbs 4 oz and am 23 1/2 in long- wow! I am in the 50th percentile for everything except my head which is 20th % - this is for those friends of my parents that thought I would have a big head!

* I love to sleep too and am starting to finally give my mom and dad a longer stretch of sleep at night. I like to surprise them every once in a while and sleep 6 hours in a row. My mom must really like this because she gives me lots of kisses when I wake up those mornings.

* I like to hang out with my kitty Jasper. He is so protective of me which makes my mommy really happy!

*I still love to lay under my play gym and watch the butterfly. I don't reach up for it yet, but I am trying. I do occasionally get my foot up there to kick it so it sings to me though so that will do until I figure out how to work my arms!

*I have grown very attached to my bouncy seat and my swing! I love to lay in my swing and watch the mobile go around and around.

*I have started to smile at things other than gas in my tummy! And, I have started to coo at random times- always surprising my mom and dad with a little one here and there!

(Here is a half a smile as I hang out with my mom's favorite Katie kitty stuffed animal!)

Well, I think that is all I am up to lately. My mom and dad hope that by the end of the month I will be sleeping 8 - 10 hours a night! Stay tuned next month to see if I grant them that wish!!!!

Grant Weston

Life has been very busy around here....

We spent our first Thanksgiving with Grant. This year we had so much to be thankful for!

Our little guy looked so handsome and so grown up in his sweater vest!


Cutting down our Christmas tree with our baby boy in our arms.

Unfortunately, it was rainy and I couldn't quite figure out how the Moby was supposed to be wrapped but it was still the best experience ever! If you recall, last year this was a very difficult experience for me as I had alreaady dreamed of the day we would wrap the girls up and take them out to cut down their first Christmas tree. This year we were finally able to experience this tradition as a family and it was such a blessing!

Grant's first hayride!

Our first time cutting down our Christmas tree as a family! Kinda bummed that this house is in the background and not the tree farm, but oh well!

And finally, decorating our Christmas tree and remembering the girls....

Giving thanks for answered prayers....

This week last year was a tough one for me. I was trying so hard to be thankful for all the blessings in my life, but it was difficult as the two things I wanted most had been taken from me way too soon. I remember putting on that famous fake smile. I was trying so hard to have a happy holiday celebrating with friends and family, but the pain of not having my girls there was so heavy on my heart. I just missed them so much.

What a difference a year makes!

As I sit here with a beautiful baby boy sleeping peacefully next to me, I am overwhelmed with a feeling of gratitude and thanks. This year, the holidays are going to be so different. Thoughts of Brooke and Alexcyn and how much they would enjoy their 2nd Thanksgiving feast fill my head and heart. But instead of focusing on what should have been this year, I am going to focus on this wonderful blessing in our lives....

Pics for the week

Here are some pics of Grant wrestling with an alligator. Im not so sure he won. Dad likes to do these things with Grant while Mom is gone.

Busy week

It has been pretty busy around here lately. The Festival fundraising event that I usually plan at work is this weekend. I have been doing what I can to help with it from home, but it isn't anywhere near what I thought I would be able to do. Some days I still struggle to find time to eat or shower so I am not sure how I thought I would be able to actually plan a fundraising event!

Grant also came down with his first sickness this weekend. Saturday started off as a great day and ended with Grant screaming his head off and surprising us with a temp of 100. Luckily, his temp went down within a few hours, but it was still very scary and sad for me to see my little man not feeling well. We saw the dr on Monday and he said that G had a red throat so he probably picked up a virus somewhere. It still baffles me where he got this virus since I have been so careful to ensure that he is never around anyone that is sick and I have pretty much locked myself in the house for the last 7 weeks! He is finally feeling better and his temp has come down to normal which makes for a very happy baby and momma!

We also started G on Zantac last week to see if we could find him some relief from his painful spitting up. So far, so good! We even got to sleep 5 hours for two nights in a row when we first started the med. Unfortunately, he got sick and that fabulous night routine went right out the window! We are hoping to get back to that routine very soon!