Babies born to families after the loss of a child are referred to as "Rainbow Babies." The idea is that the baby is like a rainbow after a storm. "Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope.
Five ways you can tell that I am a mother of a rainbow baby
1- When Grant cries, it makes me smile.
2- This one may sound funny to regular mommas, but to those baby loss mommas- I think you will understand. I am finally shopping at Target again! It used to be that I wouldn't step foot in that place because it is a serious magnet for pregnant women and babies. If I dared to go, I would typically run through the store with my head down and then walk out of there in tears anyways. I now proudly shop there for hours on end with my head up and walk out of there without any tears!
3- Until Grant was born, it had been almost a year and a half since I had a genuine smile on my face. Everyone can now tell just how happy I am because I have developed mouth wrinkles! I think it is because I haven't stopped smiling since 8:50 on October 1, 2009!!!
4-Even when I am without baby G, I carry my diaper bag as a purse just because I finally have a reason to carry a diaper bag and I want the world to know!
5-And finally, when Grant looks up at the ceiling and smiles, I don't assume he is looking at the lights or the ceiling fan.... I know that he is looking up at the two beautiful angels that surround our family and giving them a giant smile of thanks for protecting him.
If you are a mother of a rainbow baby and you have anything you would like to add, please leave me a comment. I would love to hear what you do that makes you stand out!
What a beautiful post, Krista! I hope to some day be able to add to your list. xo
ReplyDeleteThat brought tears to my eyes! And I'm so glad you can enjoy Target again, that is my most FAVORITE store and I too could spend hours in there :)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your gorgeous little man!!
can I copy and paste???
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh Target!! I don't know how many times I went there after my loss and wanted to just lay down on the floor and cry! Their baby section seemed gigantic and I hated having to go way out of my way to avoid it. I'm telling you a baby's cry has never been as sweet as a rainbow's. I never minded at all getting up with him in the middle of the night, I was so very thankful he was alive I would have gladly gone sleepless forever! This was a great post!
ReplyDeletethat exactly, but especailly the one about smiling at the ceiling :) G does that when we change his diaper on the changing table, he stares at this one spot right above Brenham's shadow box filled with his hospital picture, gown, id bracelet, crib card, etc and G smiles and gets really excited! We have it on video, its so cute!!
ReplyDeleteI also try really hard to not get upset when he wakes up during the night and won't go back to sleep or complain in general about anything. Even the less glamourous parts of motherhood I LOVE!
I love this. I also smile when Gwen cries. Of course I don't want her to be upset, but it is such a sweet sound. And I went a year without a smile on my face and now haven't stopped smiling in almost 4 months also. =)
ReplyDeleteKrista, I can add to the shopping comment... I would not look at or buy baby clothes... If someone was having a baby.. I would just get them a gift card... even while I was pregnant with my twin boys... I could not buy baby clothes... I receive them as gifts but I would not wash them/get them ready or look at them.. until I came home with my boys then I started doing laundry.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing, I had a purse that I bought last year in New York, when I was pregnant with Troy... since losing him I would not use that purse at all. Now I use that purse and carry it with joy. I have a gold heart pendant on it that is in memory of Troy and I think of him everytime I carry that purse!
Another thing... I cannot stop staring at my son Alex.. he looks just like Troy!