I wanted to thank all of you for your thoughts and prayers after my last post. I was feeling pretty defeated after talking to my dr Friday night and I really felt that Satan was tightening his grips on me. After a nice weekend away, some reflection and prayer and a second opinion, I am feeling much better about what the future holds for us and I am happy to report that I am not ready to give up yet.

On another note, I have to say that I have had a really sad day. All it takes is the silliest thing like seeing the stroller we registered for or watching my niece get her diaper changed and I am suddenly overwhelmed with such saddness. I spent months researching strollers for twins and finally found the perfect one and now I will never get the chance to find out how perfect it really was for us. We were constantly joking about diaper changes; how many we would go through in a day and how Jason refused to touch a dirty diaper and now all I long to do is change a thousand dirty diapers on my baby girls. I am really struggling thinking about all the things we are missing out on and I ask for prayers for comfort for my mind and heart as I witness these everyday occurances that seem so simple yet bring forth such emotion in me.

I am closing with a poem that was sent to me by a friend of a friend. I thought it was beautiful and I wanted to share it with you.

The Cord

We are connected, my mommy and I, by an invisible cord not seen by the eye. It's not like the cord that connects us at birth, this cord can't be seen by any on earth. This cord does its work from the start, it binds us together, attached by the heart! I know that it's there, tho no one can see, this invisible cord, from my mommy to me. The strength of this cord, it is hard to describe, it can't be destroyed, it can't be denied. It's stronger than any cord man could create, it withstands the test, can hold any weight. And though you are gone and you're not here with me, the cord is still there tho no one can see. It pulls at my heart, I am bruised, I am sore, but this cord is my lifeline as never before. I am thankful that GOD connects us this way, A MOTHER & CHILD.... Death can not take it away!