Footprints

Sorry it has been so long since I have blogged. If you have emailed me, sent me a note through snail mail, facebook or myspace, you probably know that I have not written much of anything lately. I have experienced a real lack of energy recently and that has contributed to my desire to do nothing but lay on the couch and watch movies- much to Jason's dismay! I think that my mind is starting to fully process everything that happened. As I have read in numerous books, this is a normal stage of grieving so no need to worry that I am falling into a deep depression or anything. I still manage to work full time and have decided to join some friends in a body balance exercise class twice a week as a way to work off all of this fabulous food we keep getting and to get some time away from the couch.

Enough about me, on to the girls. A few days after we got home from the hospital, the nurse we had the last night in NICU dropped off some items for us and one of those was an amazing scrapbook of Alexcyn. For those of you who know me well, this was such a blessing for me because I am not a scrapbooker at all. On the last page of the book, is the following poem. This is a beautiful reminder that even though Brooke and Alexcyn are not in our arms, they are always in our hearts.

These Are My Footprints

These are my footprints so perfect and so small. These tiny footprints, never touched the ground at all.
Not one tiny footprint for now I have my wings. These tiny footprints were meant for other things.
You will hear my tiny footprints in the patter of the rain. Gentle drops like angels tears, of joy and not from pain.
You will see my tiny footprints in each butterflies' lazy dance. I'll let you know I'm with you, if you give me the chance.
You will my tiny footprints in the rustle of the leaves. I will whisper names into the wind, and call each one that grieves.
Most of all, these tiny footprints are found in mummy's heart, cause even though I'm gone now, we'll never truly part.


Brooke Janae's tiny feet

Alexcyn Grace crossing her legs

That is Jason's hand beside Alexcyn. It is hard to believe how small the girls actually were. Jason saw a newborn baby the other day and was just in awe of how big a normal baby looks now that we have held 1 pound girls.

Specific prayer requests for this week are:

Praise for all the wonderful friends and family who have not forgotten.
We are still getting cards and gifts and are just in awe of the compassion people have for us.

I am still struggling with the everyday reminders of the pregnancy and of the girls. I pray that instead of falling apart, I will reach out for the Lord's hand to guide me through those tough times. Pray that as we think about moving forward and trying to get pregnant again that we are filled with hope and optimism