a little of this and a little of that....

I stole this idea from my friend Kate- you can find her at When Hello Means Goodbye.  I have had a lot of random things on my mind lately and I thought this would be a great way to get it all out without having to do a separate post for each of them.


*Grant's appetite is never ending lately.  I am not sure if he is going through a growth spurt or what, but all he does is stand in front of the fridge and cry until we feed him something.  Needless to say, he is getting quite a round belly!  I am anxious to see how much he has grown at his 18 month appt next month.

*Grant and I have been watching Sesame Street on Sprout for months now.  The other day, he grabbed the remote and changed the channel to PBS and there was a fancy new version of Sesame Street that I didn't even know existed.  I guess the episodes we have been watching all this time are "classic" episodes.  It was so funny to me because everyday I would watch that show and wonder how the actors hadn't aged at all since I watched it years ago.  I just assumed they all had really good plastic surgeons!

*Grant's all time favorite activity is playing basketball.  He wakes up in the morning and his first word is ball and besides eating, that is all he wants to do all day is play ball.  We went to playgroup the other day and he was so distraught because it was held in the gym and he couldn't reach the basketball hoops.  The crazy thing is, he is actually really good and gets more baskets than I do!  (I tried to get a video to put here, but he wouldn't play for the camera, he was too interested in watching what was on the camera instead!)

*I received a prayer email from our church the other day about a church member whose daughter lost twin girls at 22 weeks pregnant. I don't know this family, but I still cried when I read it. I absolutely hate it every time I hear of another family going through this pain.

And, last but not least, this has been on my mind and heart a lot lately....


*Recently, I read a blog of a friend that lost boy/girl twins. She was struggling with how to handle a friendship now that her close friend was suddenly pregnant with boy/girl twins.  The thought of watching her friend live the life she should be living was overwhelming for her.  After not being able to contact her firendfor months, she finally went to coffee with her and this is what she wrote about it.....

 And I said, "I don't want you to hold back your happiness. I am happy for you"

And do you know what she said, you guys?

Seriously-if everyone we know could just GET this-

"Honey, I am happy. But I can have a MILLION moments of happiness, and there are plenty of people to talk to about twins and how amazing it is-but I don't need that happiness RIGHT now. I can get it other times. I can talk about it whenever. And with people who it won't hurt."

I mean, how lucky am I?

Those of us going through infertility, loss, all of that. There's that attitude out there-don't expect other people to stifle their happiness with their pregnancy. Don't expect them to not talk about it with you-you are the bad guy if you can't handle it.

But doesn't her thought make so much sense? She can get that anywhere else, all day long.

I was so struck by this.  During our infertility years, I always felt pressure to put on that smile and tell everyone how happy I was for them when all I wanted to do was run and cry and hide in a dark corner.  After we lost the girls, it just got worse.  I was lucky enough to have an amazing friend that gave me the time and space I needed to heal before I could accept her pregnancy. Unfortunately, I also had a friend that couldn't set aside the happiness of her child's birth so soon after we lost our girls.  Sadly, I just couldn't handle it and had to let that friendship go.

Do you have a friend or family member going through infertility, infant loss?  Have you expected them to be happy for you? Have you talked only baby talk when they are around or have you actually been the friend in the blog post above and put your happiness aside for them?  I thought this was a wonderful reminder for all of us to look outside of ourselves if only for an hour or two to help a friend in need.