Discouraged...

I was doing pretty good last week emotionally. I was encouraged after my dr appt and was really busy at work and home so I had a lot to keep my mind occupied. As I sat at work yesterday afternoon, I could feel myself falling down. I started feeling irritable and sad and just wanted to be home. We were lucky to have a fabulous meal from Butch's brought to us as part of 'Operation Krista and Jason". It seemed like things were perking up for the night and then I got a follow up call from my OB and things went downhill fast for me.

I had called her because I had looked up information regarding the infection that they found in Brooke. Most of what I read online said that this could cause infertility and loss in recurrent pregnancies. Last night she confirmed that those things could happen. She explained that there are so many unknowns about this infection and that they just can't say that it won't cause issues in conceiving again or causing preterm birth again.

My hope was snatched from me imediately and I felt so defeated. All I want is some good news. All week I had thought it was good and now she changed her tone and told me the reality and it hurt so much. So, I need prayers for my hope to be restored and my strength and fight to not disappear. I so desperatly want another child, but I can't handle going through this again.

This morning I was surprised by a quick visit from a good friend. She does not live in town so I had not seen her since all of this happened. She brought us some yummy veggies from her garden and a gift for me. It was a black iron sign that said Hope. I just started crying- it was such perfect timing and I can't thank her enough for that- it was a great where is God moment for me.

"Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning" (Psalm 30:5).