Hope

As Jason and I stood at the cemetery the other day I started reflecting on the word HOPE and what an impact it has played on my life. The most obvious one is that I went to Hope College-which brought me to Holland and ultimately to my wonderful hubby Jason! At a wedding of a sorority sister a long time ago I got a wedding favor that was an elegant piece of paper with Jeremiah 29:11 on it- "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord; plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future." At that time I was not attending church often and was not familiar with that verse. To this day, I have that piece of paper on my bedstand and I have since printed that verse out to make sure I see it wherever I go- car, bathroom, at work, etc... Over the years, I realized how important it was to me to have HOPE and I clung to that verse knowing that one day God's plan for my future would be revealed. As I laid on the couch last night, I started wondering about our future and how all of this played into the plan that God had for us. I started to lose Hope of ever realizing my dream of being a mother that can hold her children in her arms and celebrate their 1st birthday and watch them walk down the aisle at their wedding. I prayed about this last night and asked for some sort of Hope that one day our dreams would be reality. I got in the car today to go to the bank and this song was on the radio and I felt like it was the answer I was looking for- HOPE can be born from suffering and this is only the beginning. The song is "Held" by Natalie Grant and I have heard it a thousand times on the radio and never realy listened to the words...


If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our savior
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held

I also added this to my playlist so you can hear it as well- it really is a beautiful song and it gave me HOPE that this suffering is only the beginning of a much greater plan that God has for Jason and I.

Ok, now for the question that I am sure everyone wants to know- how was your first day back to work????? Amazingly enough, it was a good day. I work with wonderful people who are so supportive and I knew that it would be good to see them again and it was. Getting back to some sort of routine will be good even though it is tough to think of all that has changed since I sat at my desk only 3 weeks ago. I thank everyone for their prayers today. I had the pager with me all day and everytime I heard it buzz I was comforted.

Specific prayer requests...

*pray that each day back to work gets easier and that we will find peace at getting back to "normal" life

*pray that I will not lose sight of Hope for our future

*pray that as time goes on and all of the why's come up we are able to find comfort in His word and will not become angry and bitter