Recipes

Ok, I am going to take a brief break from the norm of this blog and ask for help! Well, maybe I do ask for help occasionally, but not this kind of help! I am looking for recipes. It seems that somehow I always end up being the person to bring a salad. Mind you, I like salads and don't mind bringing them, but I am getting kind of sick of my usual strawberry and cashew salad. I have to make some side dishes for a rather large dinner next week and need some new and delicious recipes! Please let me know if you have any suggestions for sides (veggies, salads, jello, etc..). You can leave me a comment or send me an email at jandkblog@yahoo.com. Thanks!

Honoring Brooke Janae and Alexcyn Grace on their second birthday in Heaven....

Grant loved decorating his balloon!

bringing his big sisters some daisies...

our balloons...

We all enjoyed a piece of the cookie cake- even Grant!!!

Phew....

Just wanted to give a quick update and let you know that we survived the week and are very thankful we have one more year behind us. As always, the anticipation for the days was much worse than the actual days themselves. I have a great friend that kept me busy on the 16th and 21st and then the 18th was a family day. We did a balloon launch at the grave and enjoyed a fabulous cookie cake in honor of the girls 2nd birthday. I will post pictures once I get a moment to sit down and get them off my camera!

I just wanted to make sure that all of you that sent a note, flowers, cards, a comment on FB or an email, and those of you that took time out of your busy day to put flowers by the girls grave know how much I appreciate you! As a babylost momma, you all know just how much it means to know that your babies short lives impacted other people and will always be remembered. So, thank you to all of you out there that supported us and lifted us up during these difficult days- it really means so much to me!

July 21, 2008

Going Home

Go rest now precious one,
Your life in eternity has just begun.
Now you can walk, your legs are brand
new.
All of heaven is now in your view.

Look all around,it's all in your sight,
There will never be another dark night.
Flowers and jewels, the street of pure gold,and all of the things that have been told.

I can just imagine the smile on your face as you walk all around in that beautiful place.
Greeting our loved ones as you walk along,while singing heaven's most beautiful song.

This is so very hard,but it will all be okay,it isn't goodbye,we'll see you one day.
We love you and we'll miss you and at times it will be tough,but as with everything,God's grace will be enough.

~author unknown

Around midnight on July 18, I was finally able to meet my beautiful baby girl Alexcyn. She was hooked up to a number of machines and had a nurse dedicated to making sure she was comfortable.

We spent the next three days constantly by her side. We talked to her, told her how much we loved her and most importantly we held her tiny hand so she knew she was not alone. On the third day, we got the news we were dreading. Alexcyn was a fighter in spirit, but her body was starting to give up and it was time to let her go. The hardest decision we ever had to make was telling the doctors to stop her machines and let us hold our baby girl in our arms for the first time. In a quiet room, we held her and kissed her. Tears rolled down from our faces onto hers as we watched her take her last breaths.


No mother should have to leave the hospital without her baby. But that night as I walked out of the hospital doors and into the stale air of the parking garage, I did just that. We started the car and drove away in silence without our baby girls.

July 18, 2008

Roses grow in Heaven,
Lord pick a bunch for me.
Place them in my babies arms
and tell them they're from me.
Tell them that I love and miss them,
and when they turn to smile,
place a kiss upon their cheeks
and hold them for awhile.
Because remembering them is easy!
I do it everyday.
But there's an ache within my heart
that will never go away....

~author unknown~

July 18, 2008 is a day that I will never forget. My reports had been great. I was having occasional contractions but nothing to worry about. But, as they always say a mother knows and looking back on that day, I knew that it was more than occasional contractions. I just did not want to believe it.

Sadly, at 7:44 that evening, Brooke Janae was born. She was our first born and despite all of her bruising and extremely dry skin, she was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. The NICU team quickly confirmed our fear, she was not going to survive for very long. They placed her in my arms and I held her as she took her last breaths. Tears strolled down our faces as my body started contracting again. At 8:25, I gave birth to our second daughter, Alexcyn Grace. Thankfully, she was much stronger than her sister and was instantly taken to the NICU. I did not even get to see her before they whisked her away.

~another excerpt from the project I am working on.....

July 16

When I left the house the evening of July 16, I was full of fear. That day had been pretty busy and I was tired when I got home. I made myself some macaroni and cheese and laid on the couch to rest when suddenly I felt a gush of water. I was only 23 weeks pregnant with twin girls when, my water broke. Looking back I would say I was naive. I thought getting pregnant was the hard part. We struggled for 3 years for these girls to finally be growing in my belly. I could not lose them now.

Fear set in as it was confirmed that my water did actually break. I was transferred to Spectrum and spent the night on the labor and delivery floor. The next day after no contractions were recorded, I was moved up to the 4th floor where I was to settle in for weeks of bed rest. I would be there until my girls were born which was hopefully going to be a long time.

***this is an excerpt from a little project I am doing from a friend. More excerpts and all the details will follow in the coming weeks.

9 month pictures

I have been so busy lately (and slightly forgetful as discussed in the previous post) that I totally forgot to post Grant's 9 month pictures. I took these when my dad was visiting from Cali. We went to a local park and had so much fun just hanging out in the grass.

I probably would have gotten much better pics if I didn't face him directly into the sun! Oh well, at least the lake in the background looks nice!

not a great smile, but I was happy that I caught the wave!

a rare picture of Grant and I together...

I couldn't resist posting this because I thought it was so cute. It kinda looks like Grant is standing up on his own here, but he is really holding onto grandpa with his other hand.

Thanks so much for all of your thoughts and prayers for me this week. It is definitely difficult, but it is made slightly better knowing that I am being lifted up by all of my amazing friends and family.