J and K: Holiday wrap up

Our first party was with J's family on Friday night. With 7 adults and 5 kids, it was insanity to say the least! Ashton had his 2 month checkup that day including 4 shots so he was super cranky and screamed for what seemed like 2 hours straight. I am still not sure what candy bowl Grant raided, but he was the craziest kid I have ever seen! He was running around and screaming at the top of his lungs. He was jumping and bouncing off of things and of course, throwing anything he could find. I think the excitement of Christmas and seeing his cousins again (he used to go there 2 days a week but doesn't anymore) just made him into an out of control little boy! As always, we were all completely spoiled. We are so thankful for all the amazing gifts.

On Saturday, my family came up for Christmas Eve church and dinner at our house. They spent the night and when we woke up in the morning we were all in shock and awe at all of the presents under the tree! I felt like a 7 year old girl again when I woke up at 5 - I wanted to go wake everyone up so we could open presents already!!! Grant was a lot calmer during this present exchange, but I will say that he got a lot more toys so that kept him entertained.

shock and awe

Grant checking out Ashton with his new doctor kit

Grant's new sleeping bag since he still insists on sleeping on the floor!

Sunday afternoon we headed back to J's parents house for his extended family party. Again, the kids almost outnumbered the adults so it was loud and crazy. Luckily it was nice enough outside that the kids could release some energy in the open air and go on "tractor" rides and play with the chickens. Santa also makes a special visit to this party every year. It was Grant's first encounter with the big man in red and it was quite hilarious. He saw him through the window and screamed, "Santa Claus" but when it was his turn to get his present, he wanted nothing to do with him. Maybe next year!

this was as close as he would get!

We did presents for just the four of us yesterday and then, just like that, Christmas was over. I will say that I definitely struggled a lot more this year than I did last. The first year after losing girls, I was a complete mess of emotions. The second and third years, we had Grant and that kept me from falling apart. This year I kept feeling disappointed and I couldn't figure out why. Our family was blessed with so many wonderful gifts, but something was always missing. Yesterday I finally figured out it was the girls. Watching Grant actually get into it this year reminded me of everything I am missing with them. Also, my nieces each got an American Girl doll this year and the surprise, excitement and love in their eyes when they opened those boxes was wonderful to watch. But, it made me think of Brooke and Alexcyn. They should be opening their Bitty Baby this year; I should be watching their faces light up as they open that red box. Instead, the moment I get with them is spent at a cemetery. I have discovered that moments like that just don't happen with boys- their toys are never as precious and treasured as an American Girl doll is to a little girl. So, it is what it is. Christmas is a time of year that I treasure, but it will always remind me of my precious Brooke and Alexcyn and all that should have been.