bittersweet

This week is pretty bittersweet for me. I am surrounded by reminders everywhere that this weekend we are celebrating mothers. This week I have often found myself asking, what does it mean to be a mother? The definition in Wikipedia says a mother is a biological and/or social female parent of an offspring. So, how do I fall into that definition????? If you gave birth to children that did not survive, are you a parent? And, how are you supposed to "celebrate" this day devoted to mothers/parents?

Over the last 4 years, this day has been a painful reminder that I couldn't achieve the one thing I longed for most in my life. I endured church services where they handed out carnations to the mothers and yet I stood there empty handed, I endured family gatherings and social events where mothers were celebrated and I sat in the corner wiping away the tears. Now, here I am a "mother" and yet I am still that girl in the corner wiping away her tears, empty handed. So, instead of endurning all of this heartache again, my husband is wisking me away for a little retail therapy on the other side of the state. I am so excited to have something to look forward to instead of having something to dread. And I am excited to be spending this bittersweet day with the one person who unfortunately understands all of this pain and heartache and who puts up with me and my crazy emotions on this day every year!

I know that there are a lot of different people that read this blog- some of you have lost children, some of you have dealt with or are currently dealing with infertility. And, some of you are family, friends and church-goers who have never experienced pain, saddness or longing for a child. I am putting a challenge in your hearts this week. Be aware of those around you that could be hurting on this day. If you know someone that lost a child this year, send them a card, an email or a simple note to let them know that you remember and that you are praying for them to feel peace this Sunday. If you are in church and are proudly displaying your carnation, take a minute to say a prayer for those without a carnation. If you are at a family gathering and notice someone who is a little quiet and seems down, go over to them and include them in a conversation that is not about babies, children or mothers. These little touches of grace will mean so much to a grieving mother or to a woman who longs for nothing more than to be called mother.

"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms" (1 Peter 4:10).