FAQs # 2

It is kinda wierd to think I started this blog with a FAQ post about our pregnancy and all the plans we had for our twins and our lives come November. 6 months later, here I am with another FAQ post. Unfortunately, this time around it is about how we are handling life now that our pregnancy has ended and all of our plans for our lives come November don't really matter anymore.

Below is a list of the questions that I have been asked a lot lately. I thought I would share the answers with everyone since you may all be wondering the same things.

*First and foremost- how was the cottage? It was ok. The first few days were tough. We were blessed to be surrounded by a wonderful family that cares so much for us and is crying right along with us. Jason pretty much loved being there because he was able to hang out with all the kids and that is where he finds comfort. I had a more difficult time because I had so many thoughts and dreams about how fun the cottage would be this year- I just bought a fun new maternity bathing suit that I never got to wear, I had dreams of going shopping at some of the stores up there that carry the cutest baby clothes and accesories and instead I had to go there for some retail therapy since my summer clothes are mostly maternity. I dreamt about planning my baby shower with the girls while we were all together and instead I had to think about planning a trip to look at headstones for our girls gravesite. So, the week was full of ups and downs but we survived and ultimately are glad that we went.

*When do you go back to work? Today is Jason's first day back to work- Monday will be mine.

*Are you ready to go back to work? NO! I don't know if I will ever feel ready though. I even had my cousin and aunt offer to go into work for me- thanks Heidi and Shari! I am not sure how to go back to a normal life after all of this. I know that I can barely function right now and am not sure how that is going to change by Monday.

*What can we do for you? So far, we have been blessed with flowers, cards, wonderful meals, desserts and gifts to remember Brooke and Alexcyn. At this time, what we really need are prayers. As the reality sets in and we are forced to go back to work and what used to be normal life, we are faced with so many emotions and we need to know that people are still out there lifting us up with prayer so that we can get through this.

*How do you want us to act around you? This one is easy to answer- please don't act like nothing happened. The worst feeling to have is that everyone has already forgotten and moved on. As time goes on, we get less emails, cards, etc.. and we expect that, but please don't forget to mention it from time to time because we will never forget and most likely it is constantly on our minds.


*Who can we give donations to in honor of the girls? We didn't get a chance to put it in the obituary, but if someone would like to make a donation, we are asking that they go to Helen DeVos Childrens Hospital Capital Campaign aka building fund. The doctors, nurses, and all staff members were so gracious to us and we are still receiiving gifts and cards from them. They truly are an amazing group of people and I believe our experience with Alexcyn would have been totally different had we not been blessed with such caring people in the Neonatal unit. Spectrum is currently in the process of adding on to the Neonatal unit- that addition would allow parents to be closer to their babies 24/7 and that is something we would have liked while we were there. https://donate.spectrum-health.org/NetCommunity/SSLPage.aspx?pid=206


*Are you going to try for more children? Yes. We long to hold a child of our own in our arms and we are not ready to give up that dream yet. Obviously there are a lot of factors involved in this but we have HOPE that we will be able to conceive another child and are just praying for a miracle- a child that would be conceived naturally.

*What specifically can we pray for?
Pray that with each passing day we are filled with peace about what happened and peace about what the future holds for us.

Pray that I am able to find a way to face the outside world and all the pregnant women that seem to surround me right now. The last few days I was doing really well and then after a trip to Target (or baby land as I refer to it) I totally lost it.

Pray that as we go back to work and everything that used to be normal in a day, we can find support from co-workers and friends. Returning to what was normal as of July 15 is going to be difficult- our lives have been changed forever.

Pray that as we think about the possibility of other children we are filled with HOPE and not fear and that we would be blessed with a miracle child who was conceived without any assistance.

And finally, pray for our families. They are also grieiving the loss of their granchildren, nieces and cousins and they need to constantly be lifted up in prayer as well.

"Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD" (Psalm 31:24).